So often I look around at the things going on in my life and I have to question, "Why me God?"
What did I do to deserve this?
I have children to adore
count them 1..2..3..4....
Each healthy, smart and tender
looking back and I remember
praying softly for each one
counting the days 'til they would come.
I have a love that's tried and true
An earthly reflection of me and You
Reminds me daily of Your grace
A hand to guide me through this place.
My home is big, and it is sturdy
and sometimes it is very dirty
but it is ours and we are content
with who and what are inside of it.
Every corner of this place
there are reminders of Your grace
How you've set such things for me
you've aligned them perfectly.
Who am I to recieve all this?
To end each day with true love's kiss?
To snuggle warmly in their beds
four perfect, sleepy, curly heads?
So why God, why me?
I didn't earn it, definately.
Could it be Earth's little loves
Are merely specks of what's above?
Could there possibly
be even more love there for me?
There is nothing I deserve less
but I know the answer still is "Yes".
Friday, August 24, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Saaay whaaaat?!?!?!
Am I the only one who hates those 'look for less' articles in magazines? You know the ones where they show some weirdo celebrity all dolled up in nothing spectacular, but somehow it's the $600 must have trend of the season? What gets me is they show you this toned down knock off and brag that you can get the whole look for under $100. .....Really? $100? That's IT!?! Wow what a deal.
Well, back in the real world, where most women wouldn't DREAM of spending $100 dollars on themselves, let alone on one outfit this kind of 'bargain shopping' is a joke. Honestly, my clothing budget is just about as stretched as it can get because more often than not I only have $100 to spend....on my four kids.....for the whole season. I think most women who have children are in the same boat. In fact, I bet most women reading those magazines feel guilty they even bought that for themselves let alone would feel good about throwing that kind of cash down for a mom-on-the-go look. Instead of Look For Less, they should title those articles; "Groceries Shmoceries" or "How to look good panhandling". Maybe " Coordinate this seasons best trends with the tattered rags and gaunt faces of your poorly cared for offspring." Or how about," Look your best when children services shows up to take your kids from you because you blew all your money on clothes instead of providing basic essentials for your family, you lousy troll of a woman."
I'd probably read that one.
Well, back in the real world, where most women wouldn't DREAM of spending $100 dollars on themselves, let alone on one outfit this kind of 'bargain shopping' is a joke. Honestly, my clothing budget is just about as stretched as it can get because more often than not I only have $100 to spend....on my four kids.....for the whole season. I think most women who have children are in the same boat. In fact, I bet most women reading those magazines feel guilty they even bought that for themselves let alone would feel good about throwing that kind of cash down for a mom-on-the-go look. Instead of Look For Less, they should title those articles; "Groceries Shmoceries" or "How to look good panhandling". Maybe " Coordinate this seasons best trends with the tattered rags and gaunt faces of your poorly cared for offspring." Or how about," Look your best when children services shows up to take your kids from you because you blew all your money on clothes instead of providing basic essentials for your family, you lousy troll of a woman."
I'd probably read that one.
Curly Girls
When it comes to the battle of the curl, I have to say I was sort of on my own. My mother had four, nappy headed, bi-racial girls and she did her best. But more often than not we were sent to school in braids or ponytails slathered with V05. I'm sure mostly due to the fact we were little girls who tortured our hair, but also in part to not really knowing how to care for curls. After many years of wishing I had straight hair and countless products, I have FINALLY managed to say, I LOVE my curly hair. With a little practice, you will see that having curls is one of the easiest and worry free textures a girl could ever wish to have. FIRST THINGS FIRST: Your arsenal.
You really only need one hair product and one tool to get what you desire. A wide tooth comb and a lightweight curling creme/cream. LADIES. Please stop using the gels, spray gels and mousse to style your hair. Unless your hair is a casserole, there is no need for a crunchy topping. These products freeze your hair in whatever state it was in before it dried and encases it in a crusty shellac. Not cute. Also, I tend to stay away from the serums unless I am straightening my hair. These can work, but if you aren't careful you will end up looking like you have a jerry curl. Soul glo was bad then and it is bad now. If you don't know what I am talking about chances are you were born after 1986 and I encourage you to look it up on youtube. It's freaking hilarious.
Pantene makes a pretty good creme in their curly hair series, but it says curly to straight on it and I often found I needed more product to achieve the right look. This in turn caused me to have to wash my hair everyday. You should go for anything that says things like lightweight curling creme, or leave in conditioner. *my favorite brands are listed below.
Many of you know this, but in order to achieve your best curly potential you need to get your hair wet every day. Keep in mind that you do not need to wash your hair every day (unless it is naturally too oily or you have those 'just gotta' moments.). Too often we pile on the product and have to shampoo every day. With curls all you are doing is torturing your hair. We need moisture and shampooing only strips it out. I usually wash my hair every other day with a shampoo FOR curly hair (not curly to straight). I recommend tresseme' flawless curls, pantene curly to moisture, or mixed chicks (sold online @ mixedchicks.net or in select stores.) Mixed chicks is my favorite so far but don't worry! You do not have to be mulitracial to use it. When it comes to curls we focus on texture, not ethnicity. Although I only wash every other day, I do condition daily using any conditioner from the brands listed above.
Next, after wetting your hair be sure you don't over dry your hair. You have to work quickly to tame your tresses before frizz sets in so don't linger with a towel around your head. Dry it enough to keep it from dripping but make sure it is still 'wet'. Start small with your product. It will take a few times before you find the right amount for your hair so I encourage you to change the amount you are using rather than the product itself. I usually start with a dime sized amount, rubbing it in my hands kind of like lotion and work up from there if I need to. *Although my hair looks shoulder length, it stretches out to mid shoulderblades. If your hair is longer, you will need more product.*
Using your fingers as a comb, gently comb the product through from tip to root to discourage breaking the hair strands. Applying product is a two step process for me. The first application is basicly just to get enough in your hair to be able to comb it out with the wide toothed comb. After you have the product in, you can use your comb to get all the tangles out. The second application is for the styling. Using just a little more product (you can work up to more as needed) rub your hands together so that the product covers both hands. Then tip your head upside down so that your hair is hanging down as if you were going to blow dry it. ( I trust you know what I am saying) Use your hands to sprunch/scrunch your hair. This is the basic curly girl hair move.
Be sure you take care to not overwork your hair. the more you touch it, the worse your hair looks.
After a few good scrunches, flip your hair back up and give it a gentle rustling by shaking your head a little. This encourages a natural separation on your curls, without making them 'stringy'.
The next step is VERY important. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR!!! Do not run your fingers through it. Do not rub it againt the couch. And please do not pull shirts over your head!. Your hair has to air dry. Air drying is the only way to keep your curls from getting the frizz. After your hair has dried, you can shake it up a bit, play with it, give it a few scrunches if needed to break up the curl a bit and give it some more movement ( I'll always get my hands wet before finishing or refreshing my curls). After that, you are good to go! The whole process takes about 8 minutes for me and that includes washing. Many times I will leave the house with my hair still wet and by the time I get to where I am going it's dry.
This will also work for wavy girls too. Many wavies will realize they are actually curlies, they have just been using the wrong brush. =) Have fun and let me know how this works!!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Patience vs. Praticality
I admit, I am a very impatient person. This probably is my main flaw when it comes to raising four children. But as similar I am to a two year old in this, I am notably better than I used to be. My goal is to be at least as patient as a seven year old by the time my kids are in college. Anyway, I, like many mothers, find myself cruising the internet for other moms and their blogs, posts, forums and whatnot. What I have noticed is that there are a lot of mommy's out there who have either an enourmous well of tolerance for their children or they are all big fat liars. Let's just say for the sake of this blog that they are in fact patient saints of motherhood and I am the anomally ( which I am sure in some sense is exactly the case). First; how does one gain such a skill and second; is it always the best way to handle every situation? Here's the most recent example:
A woman had blogged how she has two boys, a one year old and a four and a half year old. While she is changing her one year old's diaper she discovers that it is poop city and her kid in in windmill mode flinging poo all over the two of them. Gross I know, but most mommies have been in this situation we just keep it on the DL. At least I do. It's best we don't relive the day to day traumas of early childrearing and let them slip into the bliss of forgetfulness. How else do you think I ended up with four children? Anyway, while this woman is dealing with her doodie debauchle, her four year old is in the room screaming, crying, and DEMANDING that she turn around and look him in the eye while he tells her this importnant story. She explains that he is stomping his feet and yelling "Look at me! Look at me!" and she is very 'annoyed'. Annoyed? Annoyed is what I am when I realize there isn't any toilet paper on the roll after I have already peed. Not when my child has lost their friggin mind and is hurling demands at me. This lady says she quietly finishes the diaper changing then turns to her four year old and 'sharply' says, 'what is it?' then her kid says " I have a booger on my finger".
Now, part of me is thinking this lady is full of it. How could it have gone that way? No woman would just keep quiet while her kid flips out on her like that especially when she is being pummeled with poo. But then I think that maybe that is exactly what happened and that it is probably what always happens which is why her four year old thinks it is acceptable to behave that way. So this is why I ask the question is patience always practical? What is she teaching her child by 'keeping her cool'? I'm not saying we should all get gangster on our kids when ever they throw a fit, I'm just saying that a situation like this would never fly in my house. If my four 1/2 year old threw a tantrum for any reason, it would not be met with silence. IF my child had the nerve to scream at me at four years of age, this is how it would have went down:
Poo flinging begins, four year old starts to scream. Make sure baby is secure, decide to deal with poo later as four year old tantrum takes presidence. Promptly snatch that bay-bay up, swat his/her butt, say something like, " You will NOT talk to mommy like that; take your crazy ass somewhere for awhile; have you lost your mind?; Have you forgotten who I am?" something along those lines and the kid would be placed somewhere away from me while I return to the diaper issue.
You see, in my mind poo happens. Tantrums don't. I would rather scrub my carpet and correct a behavior than I would contain a mess while letting my child go nuts. In the long run I am benifiting my child by teaching them that there are certain ways to behave. Character is what parenting is all about to me. Messes can be cleaned at anytime, but discipline should be immediate. Maybe by not losing her cool she was teaching her child about patience and self control. But then again maybe, and more likely, she was showing her children how much abuse she will take and that they are the ones in control. That they can act like little crazy buttholes and they won't get into trouble. I say more than likely because she has a four and a half year old who is screaming, crying and demanding an eye to eye conversation about a booger on his finger. So yeah, maybe I'm a bit harsh and maybe I could gleen some insight on parenting from mothers a bit more patient than me but it all comes down to; I'm a mother, not a chump and no child of mine is going to grow up thinking that they don't have to respect the authorities in their lives. The first lesson of this is always the mother. If my kids are jerks to me, they are gonna be jerks to every other authority they meet, including God. So yeah, mommy don't play dat. Besides, if I have jerkwad kids, they are going to raise even worse jerkwads kids and I don't want to be granny in that situation. I consider the discipline today as an investment in my grandchildren. Granny don't play dat either.
A woman had blogged how she has two boys, a one year old and a four and a half year old. While she is changing her one year old's diaper she discovers that it is poop city and her kid in in windmill mode flinging poo all over the two of them. Gross I know, but most mommies have been in this situation we just keep it on the DL. At least I do. It's best we don't relive the day to day traumas of early childrearing and let them slip into the bliss of forgetfulness. How else do you think I ended up with four children? Anyway, while this woman is dealing with her doodie debauchle, her four year old is in the room screaming, crying, and DEMANDING that she turn around and look him in the eye while he tells her this importnant story. She explains that he is stomping his feet and yelling "Look at me! Look at me!" and she is very 'annoyed'. Annoyed? Annoyed is what I am when I realize there isn't any toilet paper on the roll after I have already peed. Not when my child has lost their friggin mind and is hurling demands at me. This lady says she quietly finishes the diaper changing then turns to her four year old and 'sharply' says, 'what is it?' then her kid says " I have a booger on my finger".
Now, part of me is thinking this lady is full of it. How could it have gone that way? No woman would just keep quiet while her kid flips out on her like that especially when she is being pummeled with poo. But then I think that maybe that is exactly what happened and that it is probably what always happens which is why her four year old thinks it is acceptable to behave that way. So this is why I ask the question is patience always practical? What is she teaching her child by 'keeping her cool'? I'm not saying we should all get gangster on our kids when ever they throw a fit, I'm just saying that a situation like this would never fly in my house. If my four 1/2 year old threw a tantrum for any reason, it would not be met with silence. IF my child had the nerve to scream at me at four years of age, this is how it would have went down:
Poo flinging begins, four year old starts to scream. Make sure baby is secure, decide to deal with poo later as four year old tantrum takes presidence. Promptly snatch that bay-bay up, swat his/her butt, say something like, " You will NOT talk to mommy like that; take your crazy ass somewhere for awhile; have you lost your mind?; Have you forgotten who I am?" something along those lines and the kid would be placed somewhere away from me while I return to the diaper issue.
You see, in my mind poo happens. Tantrums don't. I would rather scrub my carpet and correct a behavior than I would contain a mess while letting my child go nuts. In the long run I am benifiting my child by teaching them that there are certain ways to behave. Character is what parenting is all about to me. Messes can be cleaned at anytime, but discipline should be immediate. Maybe by not losing her cool she was teaching her child about patience and self control. But then again maybe, and more likely, she was showing her children how much abuse she will take and that they are the ones in control. That they can act like little crazy buttholes and they won't get into trouble. I say more than likely because she has a four and a half year old who is screaming, crying and demanding an eye to eye conversation about a booger on his finger. So yeah, maybe I'm a bit harsh and maybe I could gleen some insight on parenting from mothers a bit more patient than me but it all comes down to; I'm a mother, not a chump and no child of mine is going to grow up thinking that they don't have to respect the authorities in their lives. The first lesson of this is always the mother. If my kids are jerks to me, they are gonna be jerks to every other authority they meet, including God. So yeah, mommy don't play dat. Besides, if I have jerkwad kids, they are going to raise even worse jerkwads kids and I don't want to be granny in that situation. I consider the discipline today as an investment in my grandchildren. Granny don't play dat either.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Phrases and Slogans That Have Ruined Our Country.
If you've got it, flaunt it.
If it feels good , do it.
My body, My choice.
Baby Mama
Baby Daddy
Free love
I am woman, hear me roar!
Millions and Billions of years ago....
Fetus
I was born this way.
Men are good for only one thing.
Irreconcilable differences
Single parent
Entitlements
I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
Obama/Biden '08
If it feels good , do it.
My body, My choice.
Baby Mama
Baby Daddy
Free love
I am woman, hear me roar!
Millions and Billions of years ago....
Fetus
I was born this way.
Men are good for only one thing.
Irreconcilable differences
Single parent
Entitlements
I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
Obama/Biden '08
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Charity and the tax dollar
I am a Christian. I believe God calls us to be charitable, giving to those in need. Helping those who cannot help themselves is an act of obedience. Lately I have been seeing a lot of that doctrine twisted and used against the christian community. People are saying if we are Christians, why are we so against using tax money to help others? Let me interject my opinion and then clarify, what I think, is fueling the hesitation.
When I think of charity, I think of a personal decision. And outreach of ones own resources to those around them segwaying into an opportunity to witness, show God's love face to face, to be a blessing and to be blessed. Now this can also be done on a large scale like fund raising, donations and the like, but this is still done according to the individual decision to act in obedience to God's word.
Where the problem lies, well at least for me, is government mandated 'charity'. I believe that as a Nation, a christian nation, we should all be willing to have a safety net in place for those who cannot help themselves. But not to the degree it is now, or that people are trying to get it. A redistribution of wealth is not charity. A government deciding to whom and how much we give, is not charity. Jesus did say that to whoever much is given, much is expected, but He also said give what is Caesars to Caesar, and what is God's give to God. Caesar being the government, and giving to God as in our personal tithe/love offering/neighborhood charity. What we have now is a pooling of funds, forcefully taken and distributed under government authority. We have minimal say is where this goes, or how much we give. We have no way to discern between the CAN NOTS and the WILL NOTS. I don't think we should completely get rid of the systems in place. Lord knows my family growing up would have had a hard time without them, but I think as a culture we are putting too much faith in the government, and not enough faith in God.
When the government steps in and takes control of our charitable acts, it completely takes God out of the equation. When is the last time you viewed paying taxes as tithing? Or, even worse, decided NOT to give because your tax dollars already pay for welfare? I think we are less likely , as a whole, to give individually because we can't afforded it anymore, or because we feel the governments got it and we no longer need to be involved. What difference would it make in someones life to get a personal hand up verses a government hand out? I believe this is causing a moral decay in the person which in turn causes moral decay in our society. When we give out of obedience, we are blessed. When it is mandated we are resentful. When we give as Christians, we witness that God should get the glory. When the government gives out checks, it's the system that gets the praise.
Also this give a fish rather than teach to fish system has caused a strangling dependence in our country. Many who take advantage of these programs are unwilling to live without them. I know there are many cases where there really is no way of living without them, and I am not talking about them. I am talking about those who feel no need to seek self sufficiency because they feel they don't have to. Those who truly view charity as entitlement. Those who claim they cannot afford basic necessities, yet their kids have a cell phone, a Wii, Xbox and vacationed at Disney world. All of which my family doesn't have and my husband works 50+ hours a week. (And I'm not making this up, I actually know and love these people) I feel God has called us to provide help to the helpless in order to give the giver an opportunity to show His love and be blessed in obedience and also to show the recipient His provision in their lives. Now I know there are those who say "thank God for welfare" and actually mean it (speaking from personal experience) but then there are those who would be ANGRY if they didn't get the 'free money' from the government they have been using to live a lifestyle that the average working class family cannot afford. I don't have a problem with charity. I don't have a problem with taxes. I do have a problem with the will nots demanding more from my family in the name of christian obedience. When my husband works harder and longer hours than the majority of the people I know and we still cannot afford the same things for our kids that a parent on welfare can for their children, I have a problem. When people say I don't support a tax hike because I just don't want to give, it's insulting. What I give, and to whom I give it is between me and God. Providing an Xbox and a Disney vacation to for my neighbor is not my charitable responsibility. If I can afford that lifestyle, I think it should be provided for my own children and there isn't anything unchristian about that.
When I think of charity, I think of a personal decision. And outreach of ones own resources to those around them segwaying into an opportunity to witness, show God's love face to face, to be a blessing and to be blessed. Now this can also be done on a large scale like fund raising, donations and the like, but this is still done according to the individual decision to act in obedience to God's word.
Where the problem lies, well at least for me, is government mandated 'charity'. I believe that as a Nation, a christian nation, we should all be willing to have a safety net in place for those who cannot help themselves. But not to the degree it is now, or that people are trying to get it. A redistribution of wealth is not charity. A government deciding to whom and how much we give, is not charity. Jesus did say that to whoever much is given, much is expected, but He also said give what is Caesars to Caesar, and what is God's give to God. Caesar being the government, and giving to God as in our personal tithe/love offering/neighborhood charity. What we have now is a pooling of funds, forcefully taken and distributed under government authority. We have minimal say is where this goes, or how much we give. We have no way to discern between the CAN NOTS and the WILL NOTS. I don't think we should completely get rid of the systems in place. Lord knows my family growing up would have had a hard time without them, but I think as a culture we are putting too much faith in the government, and not enough faith in God.
When the government steps in and takes control of our charitable acts, it completely takes God out of the equation. When is the last time you viewed paying taxes as tithing? Or, even worse, decided NOT to give because your tax dollars already pay for welfare? I think we are less likely , as a whole, to give individually because we can't afforded it anymore, or because we feel the governments got it and we no longer need to be involved. What difference would it make in someones life to get a personal hand up verses a government hand out? I believe this is causing a moral decay in the person which in turn causes moral decay in our society. When we give out of obedience, we are blessed. When it is mandated we are resentful. When we give as Christians, we witness that God should get the glory. When the government gives out checks, it's the system that gets the praise.
Also this give a fish rather than teach to fish system has caused a strangling dependence in our country. Many who take advantage of these programs are unwilling to live without them. I know there are many cases where there really is no way of living without them, and I am not talking about them. I am talking about those who feel no need to seek self sufficiency because they feel they don't have to. Those who truly view charity as entitlement. Those who claim they cannot afford basic necessities, yet their kids have a cell phone, a Wii, Xbox and vacationed at Disney world. All of which my family doesn't have and my husband works 50+ hours a week. (And I'm not making this up, I actually know and love these people) I feel God has called us to provide help to the helpless in order to give the giver an opportunity to show His love and be blessed in obedience and also to show the recipient His provision in their lives. Now I know there are those who say "thank God for welfare" and actually mean it (speaking from personal experience) but then there are those who would be ANGRY if they didn't get the 'free money' from the government they have been using to live a lifestyle that the average working class family cannot afford. I don't have a problem with charity. I don't have a problem with taxes. I do have a problem with the will nots demanding more from my family in the name of christian obedience. When my husband works harder and longer hours than the majority of the people I know and we still cannot afford the same things for our kids that a parent on welfare can for their children, I have a problem. When people say I don't support a tax hike because I just don't want to give, it's insulting. What I give, and to whom I give it is between me and God. Providing an Xbox and a Disney vacation to for my neighbor is not my charitable responsibility. If I can afford that lifestyle, I think it should be provided for my own children and there isn't anything unchristian about that.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Life truths I've learned from my two year old son.
1.You have a right to anything frosted and/or baked in the house.
2. Don't acknowledge anything unless yours, but reserve the right to decide it's yours and claim it
by brute force, manipulation, or in extreme cases; stealth.
3. When hunger strikes, demand chocolate.
4. Coffee is delicious and worthy to be stolen.
5. When in doubt, call pop-pop.
6. Monster voices are completely normal, and in some cases necessary.
7. If you use the toilet, celebrate.
8. If you sit on the toilet and accomplish nothing, celebrate.
9. If you poop your pants, celebrate. (basically anything involving your butt is reason enough to party.)
10. Dancing can get you out of a lot of sticky situations.
11. Determination is all you need to get what you truly desire. Nothing is ever too high up, too out of reach, or too far back no matter what your superiors think.
12. Giving a kiss and saying you're sorry should be all that you need to get a bad day back on track.
2. Don't acknowledge anything unless yours, but reserve the right to decide it's yours and claim it
by brute force, manipulation, or in extreme cases; stealth.
3. When hunger strikes, demand chocolate.
4. Coffee is delicious and worthy to be stolen.
5. When in doubt, call pop-pop.
6. Monster voices are completely normal, and in some cases necessary.
7. If you use the toilet, celebrate.
8. If you sit on the toilet and accomplish nothing, celebrate.
9. If you poop your pants, celebrate. (basically anything involving your butt is reason enough to party.)
10. Dancing can get you out of a lot of sticky situations.
11. Determination is all you need to get what you truly desire. Nothing is ever too high up, too out of reach, or too far back no matter what your superiors think.
12. Giving a kiss and saying you're sorry should be all that you need to get a bad day back on track.
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