Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Foot in Mouth syndrome and sweet revelation.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID{EA399CE5-F7F0-4486-8278-9362CA9C080C}
God is always throwing me little punches to the gut, and I am grateful for them.
I was listening to a radio program today ( link above) entitled "Hope in the midst of infertility" As I have many friends who face this daily, after listening to this program I have to say, "I am sorry!" I cannot believe some of the things these women mentioned, that I have done, that they say have totally torn them apart. As we try to be encouraging, often times we may come off quite the opposite. I would encourage everyone to take a listen to these women's stories.
What came to my attention the most is when one women was describing an experience she had in her small bible group. She was saying how she would sit and listen to one pregnancy announcement after another, one birth announcement after another trying to keep her game face on. I felt so sad for her because I know I have sat in my small bible groups and announced my pregnancies and never really realized how jarring that could be to the lady struggling right next to me. But what really hit home was when she talked about the women who would complain. Now, we all know how difficult pregnancy can be, but this woman was just biting her tongue, trying not to shout, "REALLY?? I'll trade you!"
Man oh man. I am a WHINY pregnant lady. I complain to anyone who will listen. I'll complain to people who won't listen! I'll just talk 'at' them and care less if they heard one word. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with James. I was mad. I wasn't looking forward to being pregnant again. I had just lost my baby weight from Charlotte, I had bought new clothes, I had a new job.(All selfish reasons) Life was right where I wanted it to be. Then here came a pregnancy that I wasn't 'mentally prepared' for and I whined. To everybody. It seems so foolish now. I was so caught up in my own cry-baby fest that I never stopped to think of who was listening to my words. Who was struggling to conceive, and here I had by 'accident' and had the nerve to complain. I am sure there were many women in my circle of friends who wanted to strangle me. (infertile or not) It's funny how easily the Devil can slip blinders on us and keep us from seeing how blessed we are, or how we can miss an opportunity to be compassionate. I could have been a blessing instead of focusing on how poorly Gods plans fit in with mine. And of course now, I couldn't live without my sweet baby James. I keep thinking how foolish and heartless I must have seemed. It's like complaining about your steak dinner to a person who hasn't eaten in a week. So I am sorry to all my dear, sweet ladies who have this heartbreaking cross to carry. I am sorry if my words ever made you feel like punching me, and I am grateful you had the class to not actually do it! = ) I hope I can be forgiven, and prayerfully be an encouragement to you in the future.
God is always throwing me little punches to the gut, and I am grateful for them.
I was listening to a radio program today ( link above) entitled "Hope in the midst of infertility" As I have many friends who face this daily, after listening to this program I have to say, "I am sorry!" I cannot believe some of the things these women mentioned, that I have done, that they say have totally torn them apart. As we try to be encouraging, often times we may come off quite the opposite. I would encourage everyone to take a listen to these women's stories.
What came to my attention the most is when one women was describing an experience she had in her small bible group. She was saying how she would sit and listen to one pregnancy announcement after another, one birth announcement after another trying to keep her game face on. I felt so sad for her because I know I have sat in my small bible groups and announced my pregnancies and never really realized how jarring that could be to the lady struggling right next to me. But what really hit home was when she talked about the women who would complain. Now, we all know how difficult pregnancy can be, but this woman was just biting her tongue, trying not to shout, "REALLY?? I'll trade you!"
Man oh man. I am a WHINY pregnant lady. I complain to anyone who will listen. I'll complain to people who won't listen! I'll just talk 'at' them and care less if they heard one word. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with James. I was mad. I wasn't looking forward to being pregnant again. I had just lost my baby weight from Charlotte, I had bought new clothes, I had a new job.(All selfish reasons) Life was right where I wanted it to be. Then here came a pregnancy that I wasn't 'mentally prepared' for and I whined. To everybody. It seems so foolish now. I was so caught up in my own cry-baby fest that I never stopped to think of who was listening to my words. Who was struggling to conceive, and here I had by 'accident' and had the nerve to complain. I am sure there were many women in my circle of friends who wanted to strangle me. (infertile or not) It's funny how easily the Devil can slip blinders on us and keep us from seeing how blessed we are, or how we can miss an opportunity to be compassionate. I could have been a blessing instead of focusing on how poorly Gods plans fit in with mine. And of course now, I couldn't live without my sweet baby James. I keep thinking how foolish and heartless I must have seemed. It's like complaining about your steak dinner to a person who hasn't eaten in a week. So I am sorry to all my dear, sweet ladies who have this heartbreaking cross to carry. I am sorry if my words ever made you feel like punching me, and I am grateful you had the class to not actually do it! = ) I hope I can be forgiven, and prayerfully be an encouragement to you in the future.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
30 on 30
So, I am turning thirty next month and I thought I would make a list of reasons why it's completely awesome.
1.) I have finally realized that fishnet stockings don't count as an everyday fashion essential.
2.) I no longer drop the F* bomb, the S* bomb or the C* bomb in normal conversation.
3.) Enough time has passed where I can safely say I did NOT peak in high school. (secret worst fear)
4.)I no longer use the phrase, "What is this, High school?", knowing now it's only something babies say to sound more 'adult'
5.) My thong collection is slowly dwindling.
6.) I don't get 'back'ne.
7.) The 'old lady' looks I get from 19 year olds will never sting quite as much as the ' you're such a baby' looks I give them.
8.) When I roll down my car window and yell at the neighborhood kids ( can't you see a car's coming? Quit picking on that little boy! You better get home, it's dark outside!) they actually listen to me.
9.) When my bills come in the mail, I know they are going to get paid.
10.) I hate fun parties.
11.) I can enjoy a night in without feeling lame.
12.) My butt keeps getting bigger, but that's ok, I'm married. Brian told me not to let my butt get any smaller. He has NO idea what he has just unleashed! FEED ME SEYMOUR!!
13.) I can actually make that last joke and anyone in my age bracket will get it.
14.) I don't own any pants/shorts with words written across the butt. (I always thought having 'juicy' on your butt seemed like you had some sort of stomach bug. GROSS!)
15.) I have more fun now making fun of teenagers, then I did then making fun of old people.
16.) I actually go to the mall with purpose instead of wandering around acting like I do.
17.) I haven't been to Hot Topic in years.
18.) I have escaped my 20's without any tattoo's or bizarre piercings.
19.) 'House parties' are now Dora and Ariel themed and no longer end in me puking and dodging 'creepers' in the hall way.( I get it, I'm drunk, but not THAT drunk)
20.) I no longer drink. ( HUGE plus!)
21.) I haven't said 'Dude' in years. ( at least not seriously)
22.) I'm not young enough to think that ridiculous shaggy bowl, duck butt, hair thingy little boys are doing lately is cute. (should I say it? yeah, I will) CUT YOUR HAIR YA HIPPIE!!!
23.) I think church is fun.
24.) I no longer consider' butt grinding' dancing.
25.) I care about what my elders have to say, knowing one day I'll actually use their advice.
26.) I've realized not everyone actually cares what I have to say and I don't need to dominate every conversation.
27.) I don't have to be crude to be entertaining.
28.) I see the beauty in Modesty.
29.) I have a breathtakingly beautiful family, lead by the world's most wonderful man. ( How I landed him, I'll never know!)
30.) I know that God is first in all things, and I am old enough to be OK with that. To serve Him is a blessing.
I've spent my whole life pretending to be what I now authentically am. An adult. Why be upset? 30 years. What a blessing to be here in this place at this time, knowing and loving the people I do. I fully accept what God has planned for me, and I hope my next 10 years will be full of more growth, more love, and a deeper understanding of God.
Upcoming posts: Why I hate being 30. Due to arrive June, 15th.
1.) I have finally realized that fishnet stockings don't count as an everyday fashion essential.
2.) I no longer drop the F* bomb, the S* bomb or the C* bomb in normal conversation.
3.) Enough time has passed where I can safely say I did NOT peak in high school. (secret worst fear)
4.)I no longer use the phrase, "What is this, High school?", knowing now it's only something babies say to sound more 'adult'
5.) My thong collection is slowly dwindling.
6.) I don't get 'back'ne.
7.) The 'old lady' looks I get from 19 year olds will never sting quite as much as the ' you're such a baby' looks I give them.
8.) When I roll down my car window and yell at the neighborhood kids ( can't you see a car's coming? Quit picking on that little boy! You better get home, it's dark outside!) they actually listen to me.
9.) When my bills come in the mail, I know they are going to get paid.
10.) I hate fun parties.
11.) I can enjoy a night in without feeling lame.
12.) My butt keeps getting bigger, but that's ok, I'm married. Brian told me not to let my butt get any smaller. He has NO idea what he has just unleashed! FEED ME SEYMOUR!!
13.) I can actually make that last joke and anyone in my age bracket will get it.
14.) I don't own any pants/shorts with words written across the butt. (I always thought having 'juicy' on your butt seemed like you had some sort of stomach bug. GROSS!)
15.) I have more fun now making fun of teenagers, then I did then making fun of old people.
16.) I actually go to the mall with purpose instead of wandering around acting like I do.
17.) I haven't been to Hot Topic in years.
18.) I have escaped my 20's without any tattoo's or bizarre piercings.
19.) 'House parties' are now Dora and Ariel themed and no longer end in me puking and dodging 'creepers' in the hall way.( I get it, I'm drunk, but not THAT drunk)
20.) I no longer drink. ( HUGE plus!)
21.) I haven't said 'Dude' in years. ( at least not seriously)
22.) I'm not young enough to think that ridiculous shaggy bowl, duck butt, hair thingy little boys are doing lately is cute. (should I say it? yeah, I will) CUT YOUR HAIR YA HIPPIE!!!
23.) I think church is fun.
24.) I no longer consider' butt grinding' dancing.
25.) I care about what my elders have to say, knowing one day I'll actually use their advice.
26.) I've realized not everyone actually cares what I have to say and I don't need to dominate every conversation.
27.) I don't have to be crude to be entertaining.
28.) I see the beauty in Modesty.
29.) I have a breathtakingly beautiful family, lead by the world's most wonderful man. ( How I landed him, I'll never know!)
30.) I know that God is first in all things, and I am old enough to be OK with that. To serve Him is a blessing.
I've spent my whole life pretending to be what I now authentically am. An adult. Why be upset? 30 years. What a blessing to be here in this place at this time, knowing and loving the people I do. I fully accept what God has planned for me, and I hope my next 10 years will be full of more growth, more love, and a deeper understanding of God.
Upcoming posts: Why I hate being 30. Due to arrive June, 15th.
Monday, May 2, 2011
More whining and pining...
So, I'm going a little bit bonkers being stuck inside this house without my husband for the last several weeks. Brian works nights and so my time is often spent waiting for him to wake up. For years we have had barely 10 hours a week together to cram in errands, family time, friend time and the occasional "adult" time. He leaves for work before the kids are in bed, so I literally have alone time with him every seven days. Staying home with three children often leaves our schedules completely opposite. Which means by the time he is awake and ready for the day,I am drifting lazily into sleepy town. My social life is poops too, since my only chance to get out of the house without my kids is when he is home & awake, which means I have to choose between seeing my husband or my friends. Obviously, hubby trumps..well..EVERYTHING!
What makes the last few weeks so crummy is that on top of him now having to go into work 2 hours earlier ( getting home @ the same time)iIs that he has recently taken a second job to bring in some extra money. Now, God bless him, I know he is doing this for our benefit but now all the 'free' time he had is now being eaten up by this other job. In the last three weeks I have seen him honestly about 15 minutes during the day (long enough for him to eat a bowl of cereal) and then he is gone the rest of the day & night. To top it off, his car is not working so he has been taking mine and we can't go anywhere. AND our backyard is covered in deck debris from when he tore down our old one so my kids can't go outside to play. Ever try keeping a kid inside the first couple weeks of spring after a long winter? Especially when you have a trampoline that is just DYING to be jumped on? Try it! It is invigorating!
Anyway, so I try to find some helpful tips online that could possibly keep my from drowning in this hole of lonesome momminess, and do you know what I find? Oh all sorts of great things! Like, 'try a new hairstyle'. Or 'read a book'. "Mending' or 'clean out your closets'. REALLY?!?!?! THIS is what we should be doing to break up the monotony of being a stay at home mom? Are we to assume that our brains have been so massively under-stimulated and by some weird pseudo evolution,so horrifically adapted to housework that these ideas are considered 'Boredom Busters'? Holy-crap is it THAT bad? It was pretty depressing honestly. I gotta say before I had kids, darning a sock was never my idea of a poppin' Friday night and I can't see the appeal now after I have had three.
So what do I do? I'm looking for some companionship. Having an eye-to-eye conversation with someone I don't tower over. I don't know, maybe share a laugh with someone whose butt I've never wiped. Is that too much to ask? ...anyone?
What makes the last few weeks so crummy is that on top of him now having to go into work 2 hours earlier ( getting home @ the same time)iIs that he has recently taken a second job to bring in some extra money. Now, God bless him, I know he is doing this for our benefit but now all the 'free' time he had is now being eaten up by this other job. In the last three weeks I have seen him honestly about 15 minutes during the day (long enough for him to eat a bowl of cereal) and then he is gone the rest of the day & night. To top it off, his car is not working so he has been taking mine and we can't go anywhere. AND our backyard is covered in deck debris from when he tore down our old one so my kids can't go outside to play. Ever try keeping a kid inside the first couple weeks of spring after a long winter? Especially when you have a trampoline that is just DYING to be jumped on? Try it! It is invigorating!
Anyway, so I try to find some helpful tips online that could possibly keep my from drowning in this hole of lonesome momminess, and do you know what I find? Oh all sorts of great things! Like, 'try a new hairstyle'. Or 'read a book'. "Mending' or 'clean out your closets'. REALLY?!?!?! THIS is what we should be doing to break up the monotony of being a stay at home mom? Are we to assume that our brains have been so massively under-stimulated and by some weird pseudo evolution,so horrifically adapted to housework that these ideas are considered 'Boredom Busters'? Holy-crap is it THAT bad? It was pretty depressing honestly. I gotta say before I had kids, darning a sock was never my idea of a poppin' Friday night and I can't see the appeal now after I have had three.
So what do I do? I'm looking for some companionship. Having an eye-to-eye conversation with someone I don't tower over. I don't know, maybe share a laugh with someone whose butt I've never wiped. Is that too much to ask? ...anyone?
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